By Jensen Brian Abass Cummings
Title:
“Wives, Submit Yourselves unto Your Own Husbands”: Understanding Submission, Love, and Wisdom in Marriage
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church… Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
— Ephesians 5:22–25 (KJV)
The passage above is one of the most powerful and, at times, misunderstood scriptures about marriage. Many quote it, but few understand its spiritual depth, balance of roles, and practical implications—especially in our society today.
What Does Submission Truly Mean?
Submission does not mean slavery, silence, or inferiority. It does not mean a woman should tolerate abuse, become voiceless, or lose her sense of self. Instead, biblical submission is about order, respect, and cooperation. Just as Christ leads the church and the church respects His authority, so should the wife honor the husband’s God-given leadership in the home.
Submission is a voluntary act of respect, not something to be demanded or forced. It reflects trust, wisdom, and humility—qualities that help any relationship to grow in peace and purpose.
Why Is Submission Important?
In every institution—whether a company, a church, or a family—there must be structure. No household can function well when two captains are steering the ship in opposite directions. When a wife submits, it allows room for order and unity in decision-making, and it also sets the stage for the husband to fulfill his role properly.
But here is the key: submission is not blind obedience. It is about playing your part with discernment, wisdom, and grace, even when you may disagree.
The Man’s Responsibility: To Love
Interestingly, the Bible does not ask women to “love” their husbands in this passage. It tells the man: “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.” That is a high calling. Christ’s love is sacrificial, forgiving, patient, and protective.
When a woman submits, she activates this divine principle. Her respect becomes the seed that causes genuine love to grow in her husband. In return, his love strengthens her, making her feel safe and valued. This is how God designed marriage to flourish.
The Danger of Competing Instead of Complementing
In today’s world, we see a rising trend of competition in marriage. Some wives, influenced by friends or social media, now want to “equate themselves” with their husbands. They adopt feminist ideologies or follow what others are doing in their own homes, forgetting that no two marriages are the same.
Some of these women do not act from knowledge but from copycat behavior, driven by insecurity or poor influence. Instead of building, they begin to break down their own homes by trying to “prove a point” or to “match power.” Sadly, those friends who once advised you might later sit quietly and mock you behind your back.
The wise woman listens, yes—but she makes decisions based on discernment, not pressure.
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” — Proverbs 14:1
Keep Your Home Matters Within
Another issue hurting many homes is the tendency to broadcast family issues, especially by women who lie or exaggerate problems to gain sympathy, likes, or validation from outsiders. This is both dangerous and dishonorable. Not only does it weaken the husband’s reputation, but it also exposes the family to unnecessary ridicule and long-term damage.
Marriage is not for public consumption. It is a sacred covenant, and what happens inside should be handled with maturity, not gossip.
Submission Is a Choice and a Strength
A submissive woman is not weak—she is strong enough to understand the power of humility, respect, and trust. She doesn’t always seek the last word, or rush to prove that she’s right. Instead, she sits with her husband, plans together, listens, advises, and prays—not just to be heard but to build something lasting.
And submission is not about control; it’s about consolidation—bringing two minds, two souls, and two purposes into agreement.
Conclusion: Submit in Wisdom, and Love Will Follow
In every strong and peaceful marriage, there is a woman who understands submission and a man who understands sacrificial love. Both are playing their roles, not out of pressure, but out of honor to God and each other.
So to every woman reading: choose to submit with wisdom. Don’t let envy, influence, or ego rob you of a beautiful home. Be a builder, not a breaker. Respect your husband, and in turn, you will unlock a love deeper than you imagined.
And to every man: love your wife not by command, but by conviction. Be kind, be patient, and let your love be a reflection of Christ.
Copy right –Printed in the Expo Times News on Friday, May 5th, 2025 (ExpoTimes News – Expo Media Group (expomediasl.com)
