By Michaella Faith Wright

For too long, the focus has been on preparing daughters for marriage. Isn’t it time we give our sons the same foundation?

For generations, African parents have placed a significant focus on preparing their daughters for marriage, ensuring they are equipped with the skills and values to become ideal wives. But what about our sons? As society evolves, shouldn’t our expectations around parenting evolve, too? I believe it’s time to give our boys the same consideration, raising them to be not only capable but also compassionate, responsible, and supportive future husbands.

The Traditional Approach Needs Reconsideration

Traditionally, young girls are taught that marriage is a key goal and responsibility in life. They are expected to learn patience, nurturing, and household management – all essential for keeping a home and being a supportive partner. But while we place such expectations on our daughters, our sons are often given a different script: focus on career, self-reliance, and, of course, independence. This gap leaves boys underprepared for the cooperative, supportive nature of modern relationships.

In today’s world, more couples share household responsibilities and value emotional connection just as much as traditional roles. But how can we expect young men to step up to these standards if they are not given the tools to do so? Without early guidance, boys may grow up believing that household and emotional labour is not “their role.” By teaching our sons empathy, patience, and even basic life skills, we are setting them up to become more understanding and supportive partners.

Raising boys to become good husbands is not about burdening them with traditional “female” tasks. It is about broadening their understanding of partnership. Boys should feel just as capable in the kitchen as they do on the sports field. They should know that sharing chores is a sign of respect, not weakness, and that showing emotion doesn’t make them “less manly.” The simple act of teaching boys to care – for their siblings, for their homes, and for themselves – is a gift that will serve them in every relationship they enter.

Personal Reflections and Realizations

In talking to mothers and fathers across Africa, I have seen the impact that a balanced upbringing has on young men. Families who encourage their sons to help around the home and speak openly about emotions often find that these boys grow into men who value connection and respect in their relationships. They are happier, more confident, and ultimately more supportive partners.

A Call to Action for African Parents

It is time for African parents to reflect on their roles in shaping the next generation. Imagine a future where our sons are as capable of nurturing a home as our daughters, where they are not only successful in their careers but also successful partners and fathers. By preparing our boys for these roles, we’re not just empowering them; we are contributing to stronger, healthier families.