By Josephine Sesay

Death is a powerful reminder of a moment of truth we all inevitably face, though most of us live in a constant state of denial. When someone dies, the world halts for a brief moment, and we feel the weight of their absence, mourning their lost presence. We cry, we reflect, and we express the kind of love and respect we wish we had shown when they were alive.  We cry, we mourn, and for a brief moment, we promise ourselves we’ll live better, love harder, and cherish every moment with those still around us. Yet, like clockwork, once the funeral is over and the dust settles, we slip back into the same old habit’s grudges, neglect, and indifference. But here’s the bitter irony, we forget that death is not just a signal of the loss of a loved one, but one that too many of us ignore or forget. It’s a wake-up call not just for those who have passed, but for us the living.

When someone dies, we say all the right things “I wish I had spent more time with them.” “I should have told them I loved them more often.” “I wish we had mended our differences before it was too late.” These words are often uttered in sorrow, but they reveal a glaring truth. we wait until death takes someone away to recognize what really mattered. And in that moment, we realize the harsh reality we had the chance to love, to show respect, to be humble, and to create good memories, but we squandered it. Why? Because we didn’t understand the urgency of these things until death forced us to confront them

We erect monuments to their memory, speak in glowing terms about their virtues, and promise to cherish every moment with those still with us. Yet, this behaviour often feels temporary, a fleeting burst of realization that quickly fades into the haze of our busy, distracted lives. We return to the same habits, fighting, holding grudges, competing with each other, and ignoring the needs of those closest to us, ignoring the love they show to us. Life is not a competition, but we make it one. And in doing so, we lose sight of what truly matters love, respect, humility, kindness, and, above all, prayer.

In the wake of death, we might put on a show of generosity, buying expensive wreaths or flying across oceans to bury the dead. But what about the living? We spend more on an elaborate funeral than we would on helping a struggling friend, family member or supporting a cause that could change lives. We spend hours crying over someone who is no longer with us but hardly give a second thought to those around us, perhaps even in the next room, who could use our time, attention, or a simple word of encouragement.

We invest in the deceased, but what about the living? We shower the dead with praise, but where is the admiration for the living people in our lives? How many of us, in the frenzy of our own lives, fail to tell our loved ones that we love them, we show them that we care for them until it’s too late? How many times have we had a chance to apologize and change our behaviour but let our pride win? How often do we let enmity build between us, even with those we care about most, simply because of misunderstandings, pride, Ego or past grievances?

The real tragedy lies in the fact that we keep postponing love and respect for another day. We say, “I’ll tell them I love them tomorrow,” or “I’ll apologize next time I see them.” But what if there’s no tomorrow? What if tomorrow never comes? This is the true lesson of death. life is fleeting, and we don’t have the luxury of time to keep putting things off. If you love someone, show them today. If you’ve wronged someone, make it right today. If you have the means to help someone, do it now before it’s too late. Because once that person is gone, you will have nothing but regret

This cycle is maddening. We cry for those who have passed, but we harbour malice for those still here. We cherish their memory but can’t be bothered to make new memories with the ones who matter now. We see death as the final end, when, in truth, it’s a reminder of the preciousness of life and the fleeting nature of time. And yet, we ignore the lesson it offers again and again.

The truth is, death isn’t just about the person who’s gone; it’s about us, the survivors. It forces us to confront the fragility of life and the shallow way we often live. It tells us to love more deeply, to be kinder, to make peace where there is conflict, and to focus on what really matters. Yet, most of us brush this lesson aside once the funeral ends and life returns to its chaotic rhythm.

If we truly took death to heart, we would live differently. We would prioritize human connection over petty disagreements, self-interest, and competition. We would give more time to our family, more care to our friends, and more help to those who are struggling. We would invest in the living, not just in the dead. We would apologize when necessary, forgive when possible, and never take a single moment for granted.

As the adage goes, “Life is short,” and death is the undeniable reminder of this truth. The question we must ask ourselves is: When will we stop waiting for tragedy to jolt us into action? When will we stop ignoring the call to live fully, love fiercely, and help others while we still have the chance? What a life indeed—if only we could truly live it.